|
Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word
Communication is
an essential part of our life but unfortunately many people do
it rather badly. Misunderstanding and the unwillingness to admit
our mistakes become the root of most conflicts. Sometimes people
say what they don't really mean. In a fit of temper they may
call somebody a fool or say something very offensive. Later they
have compunction about behaving in such a way and want to
rectify their mistake but they don't know how to do it. Things
seem to be extremely complicated. Good relations seem to be
spoilt forever. But in reality there is a way to improve the
situation and to re-establish good relations. What you should do
is just to apologize.
As Elton John
sings, 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'. Why is it so
difficult for us to admit our fault and to say, 'Sorry. I am
wrong'? The truth is that it is always easier to see the wrong
in someone else than in ourselves. An apology is when one feels
regret at having offended somebody or having caused trouble for
someone. Many people believe that to give an apology is to
accept their blame and to admit that they have made a mistake.
Others believe that to apologize means to show their
understanding of the role they have played in the misfortunes of
another. People who have been offended or humiliated often hope
for an apology. For some of them, it may be very important to
receive an apology from those who have hurt their feelings. They
may hope that an apology will restore a sense of justice.
Some people are
sure that an apology is a sign of weakness and apologizing means
losing face. It is easier for them to accuse another one than
acknowledge their fault. It is often unlikely that a boss will
apologize to a subordinate, a grown-up will apologize to a child
or a man will apologize to a woman.
It is very
important to apologize because an apology is a step toward
reconciliation, piece and harmony. Apologizing your show your
ardent desire to settle a conflict, and be in good terms again.
Apologizing you try to assure another person that you will not
repeat the offense. A sincere apology often leads to the
resolution of a conflict and forgiveness. It is very important
to check that another person has understood you and has accepted
your apology. Apologizing you should take into consideration
that the person whom you have hurt may be rather upset,
disappointed or irritated, that is why you should be very
patient and delicate. If you feel nervous, think over your words
beforehand and try to sound serious and self-confident. Try to
avoid mumbling and don't look aside. The abilities to apologize
and to forgive are essential to any long-term relationship. They
help build trusting relationships with our parents, relatives,
friends, spouses, colleagues or neighbors.
One should never
forget that an apology will be accepted only if it is genuine.
You should show that you feel deep remorse and you are eager to
atone for your offences. Sometimes to forgive is as difficult as
to apologize. Everybody must remember that he should forgive as
much as he would like to be forgiven.
1. Complete each sentence (A-H) with one of the endings
(1-8):
A. An apology is when one feels regret at having offended
somebody or
B. People who have been offended or humiliated often
C. Some people are sure that an apology is
D. It is often unlikely that a boss will apologize
E. Apologizing your show your
F. A sincere apology often leads to
G. The abilities to apologize and to forgive are essential to
H. One should never forget that an apology will be accepted only
if
1. a sign of weakness.
2. ardent desire to settle a conflict, and be in good terms
again.
3. to a subordinate.
4. hope for an apology.
5. it is genuine.
6. any long-term relationship.
7. the resolution of a conflict and forgiveness.
8. having caused trouble for someone.
2. What shouldn't you do when you apologize? Why? Continue
the list
— be impatient;
— try to laugh your fault away;
— avert your face;
— mumble something unintelligible;
— behave impudently;
— press recriminations;
3. Answer the questions
1) What is the root of most conflicts? Why?
2) What is an apology?
3) Why do people who have been offended or humiliated hope for
an apology?
4) Why is it difficult for many people to apologize?
5) Do you agree that an apology is a sign of weakness? Explain
your answer.
6) Why is it very important to apologize?
7) Is it difficult for you to apologize/forgive? Why?
8) Do you agree that a person should forgive as much as he would
like to be forgiven?
4. How would you apologize in the following situations? Prepare
a short speech. Remember that you should sound convincing and
sincere. The words in brackets may help you
(Excuse me, I beg you pardon, I apologize, I'm sorry, I
didn't want to offend you, it will never happen again, I assure
you, I understand your feelings but ..., I awfully regret, I
hope you will be able to forgive me, it was a terrible mistake,
it is my fault, I just lost control, I was wrong, I can't
forgive myself, can we forget about this unpleasant incident)
• You have broken your sister's favourite cup and decided to
hide the fragments and to say nothing to her. But she has found
out the truth and has taken offence.
• You've made an appointment with your colleague and you have
clean forgotten it. He feels irritated as he has cancelled
another important meeting because of you.
• You have forgotten about your friend's birthday. You haven't
congratulated him and now you don't know how to explain it so
that not to make things worse.
• Two days ago you made fun of your boss and called him a fool
and a tyrant. Somebody must have told him about it as he is very
angry with you and cavils at every trifle. You feel very ashamed
and uncomfortable.
• You have come home rather tired and you have shouted at your
little son. Now he is crying bitterly and you feel stupid and
mad at yourself.
5. Read the quotations below. Can you agree with them? Choose
one of the statements and comment on it
• A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party
does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he
wants to be healed because he has been hurt.' (Gilbert K.
Chesterton)
• 'Apology is only egotism wrong side out.' (Oliver Wendell
Holmes)
• 'It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort
of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean
advantage of them.' (P. G. Wodehouse)
• 'To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.'
(Ambrose Bierce)
Recall the situation when you had to apologize to somebody.
Describe it in detail. Say if this person accepted your apology.
Analyze the mistakes you made. Describe your feelings.
A.
When is it necessary to apologize? Can an apology help restore
good relations?
B. Read the text 'Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word' and say if
you agree with the words of the famous song.
Из учебного пособия
"Открывая
мир с английским языком. Современные темы для обсуждения.
Готовимся к ЕГЭ" Юнёва С.А. 2012г.
|